It’s Scary To Be White These Days…

As a fellow white woman, I’m finding life to be a lot scarier now than ever. I see people speaking Spanish, black people napping, Muslims eating ice cream… what happened to our safe little world? I’m about to be a mother to a white boy and I’m terrified for him. I feel compelled to write this blog because us white women finally need to be heard. There is so much scariness going on and we need to start speaking out because we never ever do.

When I heard about the incident of the man running over and killing 15 people in my own city, Toronto, it upset me dearly. I feel for the victims but now I’m reading that the driver was an Incel (involuntary celibate). The man just needed to get laid. Many people’s lives would have been spared if women just stopped crying for one second about self respect and give this repulsive soul a handy. The boy that shot all those students in Texas is being labeled as a terrorists which concerns me because terrorists are brown people, but he’s white… so does that mean he’s secretly Muslim? It’s all so confusing. It’s not fair to label white men as the source to mass shootings just because majority of mass shootings are done by white men. It’s also not fair to blame guns. We don’t know if they gave consent or not. It’s a he-said, it-said situation.

Even going to work is scary. You now have to be careful about what you say or you’ll get in trouble. I have to give up my favourite adjectives to call minorities now because it’s considered “offensive”. I don’t know how to talk to anyone anymore. How do you talk to gay people or black people? Ask them about the weather? Is that a thing gay people talk about? I just don’t know! How can I have a conversation with a transgender person if I can’t talk about their genitals?! There’s like, no other conversations to be had! I’M SO CURIOUS!! If a man talks to me, he must feel so uncomfortable now that he can’t randomly massage my shoulders, comment on my looks or whip out his dick. There’s just no way of winning. How am I as a white woman, supposed to feel safe at work when a women of colour is up for the same promotion as me? They clearly had to work harder than me to get to the same place which makes them even more intimidating. There’s just no even playing field.

Now that I’m about to be a mother to a white male, what will the world look like in his eyes now that he doesn’t have as much power as the men before him? How will he know to take power away from people instead of sharing it? How will he know that he’s just better than everyone simply because he just happened to be born? How do I teach him that if he wants respect, he’s going to have to… EARN IT?! What is a mother to do?! How is my boy going to be a proper member of society if he doesn’t bully his way through life and demand everything? How will he contribute? Compassion, skills, empathy, resourcefulness – these are female traits, my son has no chance! What is going to happen when he starts school? Public schools are being more tolerant of other cultures, is that going to influence my son? Thank God the white-nationalists are recruiting at colleges, it would be so scary having outside influences impregnate my child with horrendous ideologies.

I’m scared of the threat of my guns being taken away. Just because I have assault rifles, family history of violent mental illness and my husband is on the no-fly list shouldn’t mean I have to give up my favourite game of Playing God. It is my right to protect myself from the thoughts in my head and kill whoever I want because the voices tell me to. They can’t be wrong, the voices are in MY head.

I’m scared of Black Lives Matter. They look so scary walking together telling me stories of their loved ones being shot and killed by police. What do they want, police to update their training tactics and learn to NOT shoot innocent people? How will things be kept in control? It’s making me question things and I don’t like questioning things… questions make me think I could be wrong and I’m never wrong. What does Black Lives Matter even mean? Are they saying I don’t matter? Because I do, so I don’t get what they’re whining about.

I’m tired of my kind being blamed for everything wrong in the world. Slavery happened so long ago and I’m pretty sure the history books exaggerated the conditions, so like, enough already! White people are hysterical because we’re being shamed for killing and locking up innocent people of colour. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be judged for yelling obscenities at people? It’s not very nice. I’m tired of being called a racist because I think white people are a superior race, it’s just a belief system and I find it offensive that I’m being judged for my beliefs. So the next time you want to call me anything that ends in “ist” just remember that I am a person too, and I am very scared.

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