For those of you that don’t know, I ran away to Tampa last weekend. Just to clear my mind, get away from the snow, read, write and figure out a life plan for myself. I got a lot out of the trip and I highly recommend running away for a couple days to clear your head.
I figured out a lot more personal issues than work, oddly enough (but not that odd). Not to alarm you all, but I’m a Gemini (no, I’m not crazy… like that… sorta…) so I battle a lot with my two sides. In a sense, a lot of us do, but my back and forth is constant and very irritating. I needed the space to make a choice on one of my sides and it needed to fit with my life goals and what I was feeling deep down. I made a 2.5 year plan of what I wanted to accomplish and I finally realized that I can’t do it alone and need to start asking for help. I’m also going to get into a healthy routine of working small steps everyday to hit those goals.
I also realized that as much as I need to write, I need to read. I’m putting aside time every morning to do some reading to wake up and fill myself with inspiration and creativity. I’m seeking out joy. Oprah has said, “happiness is overrated, what you need is to feel is joy”. I’m going to approach my work with fun and excitement, not a chore. I’m going to dance like an idiot in my apartment, play the keys, sing my heart out and really live life. You only have today right? That’s all we really have. Why not make it the best day you possibly can? I want to surround myself with people that inspire and elevate me. I want to learn from the people around me so I can always grow. I want to learn everyday and never feel like I have all the answers because in reality, none of us have the answers.
I’m not perfect and I’m going to stop trying to be. I make big mistakes and I’ll keep making them. I’ll forgive myself and keep striving for improvement. I’ll love, respect myself. I’m going to hold myself accountable for my actions. This is my pledge. It’s no longer about doing things because I have to, I do my work because I chose to. I don’t need reasons.
Of course I expect certain kind of results with these goals. My goals will lead me to bigger things and attract more people and projects that will challenge and inspire me. If what I’m doing doesn’t excite me, than I may as well be a lawyer or doctor. What’s the point in doing all this work in a highly competitive field if it doesn’t excite me? Sometimes we need to take a step back and FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! (HAHAHA Tropic Thunder reference, couldn’t resist!)
Ahem, let’s start again, we need to take a step back and ask ourselves, why am I doing this? What do I love? What will make me grow? What do I want? These are the scary questions we refuse to answer. These are the questions I had to ask myself when I went away. As impulsive as it was to leave, it forced me to take a good look in the mirror. I get so lost in my mind, I can’t see past the end of my nose. My now sunburnt nose.
I hope this helps anyone that may be going through the same thing. If not, enjoy anyway stoooopid.